...I find it amazing that just when I need it God intervenes and puts people in my world that say exactly what I need to hear.
I have felt the strong calling to be a missionary for about a year now but it seems like every time I bring it up it is shot down, people telling me it is impractical and I should get a "real job" first and other discouragements. And I have let them get to me. Secretly, I still have the passion to go into the mission field. But when people ask me what I want to do with my life, I usually just simply say teach now. Though that passion is still there, Satan has been really working on that and telling me that its not going to happen and I don't have money for bible college and I HAVE to go to bible college before I can be a missionary, and just that it will not happen for me and I should just become acceptant of my secular career in the future. It really hurts to give up that dream and it has gotten me pretty down and at a point where I had become almost complacent with God because I did not have faith in Him for my future anymore, I had believed the lies that He could not do it.
Anyways, what I was getting to. In sunday school, a man who was going to Botswana for God came to speak.. through him God just really spoke to me and told me that my passion and life will not be fulfilled without his ministry as a part of it. and though he will use me wherever I go, He has put a specific calling in my life to the people of other nations and that no matter what the cost, whether pride or popularity, or my life savings (which is $0 at this point) His plan will always be better then my own. And He will always provide for me when I have Faith in him.
He apologized at the end for going off on tangents.. but it was in those moments that we got to see his undisclosed passion for God and God got to speak through him most freely... It was pretty amazing and brought tears to my eyes. For the first time in a while i realized that God is good and faithful and His plans really are greater then my own, no matter what anyone says. If i follow His will, everything will turn out for His glory.
