Sunday, December 25, 2011

What if?

What if we actually believed what God thinks of us? What if we believed He was real, that He genuinely cares about us and what we are doing, that it's not about doing the right things or saying the right words or appearing to have it all together. It just kind of hit me while reading this tonight, nowhere in the bible does it say 'thou shall appear to be perfect' or 'thou shall wear a mask'. No! we are called to be different from the rest of the world and that is not a call to perfection - that is a call to be real, to not be afraid to show that we are hurt, struggling, human. for goodness sake why am i so afraid to appear to be human?

What if I believe who God said I was. What if i lived out of who God says I am. --Blessed, Adopted, a royal priesthood, LOVED, cherished, close to God, chosen, holy, a princess, promised great things, forgiven. What if i believed these things were true, I stopped living in my past, believing those things defined me. I stopped living with who I've been believing i need to 'fix things up' before i let God back in. What if i just stopped.

I always say i'm tired. It's not physical or emotional or mental per say. It's an i'm tired of pretending that everything is okay when really it's not. i'm tired of putting on an act for everyone, including myself. i'm tired of not knowing who i am -- but really what that is, is an aching, a longing for God. a need to be filled by the only thing that can encompass everything i have ever needed and leave me satisfied. It's not exhaustion from life. It's exhaustion from sin and the need to be loved by the one who can tell me who i really am. His.

Imagine if we believed God when He says: "What if I tell them who they are? What if I take away any element of fear in condemnation, judgment, or rejection? What if I tell them I love them, will always love them? That I love them right now, no matter what they've done, as much as I love my only Son? That there's nothing they can do to make my love go away?
What if I tell them there are no lists? What if I tell them I don't keep a log of past offenses, of how little they pray, how often they've let me down, made promises that they don't keep? What if I tell them they are righteous, with My righteousness, right now? What if I tell them they can stop beating themselves up? That they can stop being so formal, stiff, and jumpy around me? What if I tell them I'm crazy about them? What if I tell them, even if they run to the ends of the earth and do the most horrible, unthinkable things, that when they come back I'd receive them with tears and a party?
What if I tell them that if I am their Savior, they're going to heaven no matter what - it's a done deal? What if I tell them they have a new nature - saints, not saved sinners who should now 'buck-up and be better if they were any kind of Christians, after all he's done for you!' What if I tell them that I actually live in them now? That I’ve put my love, power, and nature inside of them, at their disposal? What if I tell them that they don't have to put on a mask? That it is ok to be who they are at this moment, with all their junk. That they don’t need to pretend about how close we are, how much they pray or don't, how much Bible they read or don't. What if they knew they don't have to look over their shoulder for fear that if things get too good, the other shoe's going to drop?
What if they knew I will never, ever use the word 'punish' in relation to them? What if they knew that when they mess up, I will never 'get back at them'? What if they were convinced that bad circumstances aren't my way of evening the score for taking advantage of me? What if they knew the basis of our friendship isn’t how little they sin, but how much they let me love them? What if I tell them they can hurt my heart, but that I never hurt theirs? What if I tell them I like Eric Clapton’s music too? What if I tell them I never really liked the Christmas handbell deal with the white gloves? What if I tell them they can open their eyes when they pray and still go to heaven? What if I tell them there is no secret agenda, or trapdoor? What if I tell them it isn’t about their self-effort, but allowing me to live my life through them?"

What if we actually let Him?