Last Wednesday i totally absolutely felt God. i was at family tab, my best friends church and i mean just when we started worshiping there was something different about the whole atmosphere of the room. I felt God there it was a peace and a joy and just everything and i felt convicted. and i prayed and i worshiped and i just felt free to lift my hands and speak to him and just cry and let Him hold me in His arms. so i did.. i felt completely and totally convicted about everything thats been going on in my life. i felt like i could just talk to God and tell him everything and just be at peace and be free and the devil could not bound me anymore by my past.... i just... idk. i went through a similar thing last night at my youth group. i felt God there, i knew he was calling out to me and i worshipped him and i really meant what i was saying.. one of the songs was called "unbreakable" by fireflight and it says "Now i am unbreakable, now i am unshakeable,. no one can touch me. NOTHING can stop me." and it just really stuck out to me. God was telling me that in HIS power i cannot be burdened or stopped by the devil. IN HIS POWER i can do anything.
i knew God was there and he was working in big ways in me. I knew he wanted to change me, he just needed me to let him have complete control.
and ive been working on that i mean im not perfect, but for one im trying to see him in the world, and His work in other people and His work in me. i try to look for Him even in the little things and be more thankful for all the blessings i have. and even the trials i go through. and its hard. oh i will tell you that its hard, but i think.. no i know its going to be worth it in the end. I guess its a faith thing, and ive had a lot of trouble with faith but i want God to be there for me and i know he always will when i call on HIm, and he may not always answer in the way i want him to. but he will always answer in some way.
and even when i dont hear it. I will BELIEVE in God even when he is silent...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dear...
Dear Somebody!
You know. Sometimes i just wonder if there is anybody else out there like me.
I mean i know everybody is different, but i wonder if anybody can really know exactly how i feel.
I'm guessing that's very unlikely since God made us all different and we are all in different situations and respond to things differently. I guess i was just thinking. I mean how cool is it that i am the ONLY me. ha ha. maybe that seems a little lame, but honestly. Nobody will ever go through my life again. They may go through similar situations, but never the same life. So once the past is past, its gone. FOREVER. and i don't have to worry about it anymore.
Sometimes i wish i could go back and just change things, you know. Like they say hindsight's 20:20. There is just some stupid mistakes I've made to make myself seem cooler, or to get instant gratification and i wish that i would have thought before i spoke or acted.
hmmm. So today was the first day back at school after Christmas break, and everything already seems the same, it almost seems like i never left. i guess you just get into the same old routines day to day, it just feels like going through the motions.
I think a lot of people live life like that. Just going through the motions, going day to day and doing the same routine. I would not be able to do that. it bores me, I need excitement, change, spontaneity! ha ha. but i guess sometimes i get caught up in it too.
I wonder what life would be like if i lived just for one day, or one week. and with everything i did i thought about how it could effect the future, every word i said. every insult i used. every joke i made. if i thought about how it would effect me. i wonder what i would realize. Maybe that i don't think about what i say before i say it. Its kinda stupid because i make jokes all the time and i know that if and when somebody says something like that to me it hurts, and i take it personally. no i don't show that i do, but inside it hurts.
what if other people are that way too, i mean i know were all different but we have to share some of the same ideas and feelings, right?
hmmm well. this was random. i guess i just have a lot on my mind right now. :p
much love.
You know. Sometimes i just wonder if there is anybody else out there like me.
I mean i know everybody is different, but i wonder if anybody can really know exactly how i feel.
I'm guessing that's very unlikely since God made us all different and we are all in different situations and respond to things differently. I guess i was just thinking. I mean how cool is it that i am the ONLY me. ha ha. maybe that seems a little lame, but honestly. Nobody will ever go through my life again. They may go through similar situations, but never the same life. So once the past is past, its gone. FOREVER. and i don't have to worry about it anymore.
Sometimes i wish i could go back and just change things, you know. Like they say hindsight's 20:20. There is just some stupid mistakes I've made to make myself seem cooler, or to get instant gratification and i wish that i would have thought before i spoke or acted.
hmmm. So today was the first day back at school after Christmas break, and everything already seems the same, it almost seems like i never left. i guess you just get into the same old routines day to day, it just feels like going through the motions.
I think a lot of people live life like that. Just going through the motions, going day to day and doing the same routine. I would not be able to do that. it bores me, I need excitement, change, spontaneity! ha ha. but i guess sometimes i get caught up in it too.
I wonder what life would be like if i lived just for one day, or one week. and with everything i did i thought about how it could effect the future, every word i said. every insult i used. every joke i made. if i thought about how it would effect me. i wonder what i would realize. Maybe that i don't think about what i say before i say it. Its kinda stupid because i make jokes all the time and i know that if and when somebody says something like that to me it hurts, and i take it personally. no i don't show that i do, but inside it hurts.
what if other people are that way too, i mean i know were all different but we have to share some of the same ideas and feelings, right?
hmmm well. this was random. i guess i just have a lot on my mind right now. :p
much love.
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